Top ten reasons why Los Angeles is a loser town:

1. USC Trojans made it to the Rose Bowl Championship Game. They blew it and lost badly to Texas Longhorns . USC used to be really great at football.

2. UCLA Bruins made it to the NCAA Tournament Championship game. They blew it and lost badly to Florida Gators. UCLA used to be REALLY GREAT at basketball.

3. The L.A. Lakers got to the playoffs. They blew it (three times) and lost badly to The Phoenix Suns in Game 7 in the first round. The Lakers used to be really great at basketball.

4. The L.A. Clippers got to the playoffs. They blew it and lost badly to The Phoenix Suns in Game 7 in the second round. And well, the Clippers were really never that great at basketball.

5. Los Angeles Kings suck. I don't watch hockey, nor do I like it, but I know that the Kings didn't even make the playoffs.

6. L.A. Dodgers suck. I don't watch baseball, nor do I like it, but I know that the Dodgers have ugly uniforms.

7. The Los Angeles Galaxy suck. I don't watch soccer, nor do I like it, but I know that the Galaxy have worse uniforms that the Dodgers, therefore they suck as well.

8. The Los Angeles _________ suck. Don't even get me started, but if L.A. even did have a football team, they would probably suck (and have ugly jerseys).

9. The Los Angeles Avengers suck. Well, Arena Football in general sucks.

10. The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim are okay, but they are technically and physically still in Anaheim, which is in Orange County, not Los Angeles.

The pride of our city? Skid row. No, wait...